Could need some help on my first original! :D

[Fincken]

Hey, me and a friend of mine started on a track yesterday, and I feel like it's something worth spending a tiny bit more time on. I'm still å beginner, but i really like this one

But I can't help feeling that it sounds very "home made" if you catch my drift. Can anyone help me out here, got some good tips for improvement?

http://soundcloud.com/attehdisco/working-project/s-rKJSe

*UPDATE*
http://soundcloud.com/attehdisco/working-project-2

All feedback is highly appreciated!

[bobbyd]

This is pretty good.

I would put in a kick with a little more umph. I think that it could help fill in the low end. Nothing too much louder, you might just be able to give this one an eq boost at around 80 or 100 hz

Do you have shuffle on the hats? It is a little distracting.

Also, this might be more personal preference - you might try thinning things out a little. The is a little too much going on. The "bell" part seems to have a bit of that shuffle too. You might be able to get by with just two or max 3 synth parts on at a time.

[JackStalk]

I actually really liked the flow/melody of the track. It needs some professional mastering to be AWESOME. It reminded me of an epic deadmau5 instrumental

[Skooch]

Sounds nice , I agree with a kick with some more UMPH! though, and I dont know if its me but does the track sound a little muffled after that semi- drop around the 4:10 minute mark? Every thing sounds nice and open up to that mark, then it sounds a bit restricted, then when the lead synths release at around the 6 min mark everything seems airy and free again

[Fincken]

Wow! Thanks for great replies! I've actually been working a tad more on this one with some friends and I feel it's gotten quite better, and less muddy. At at the same time the new kick feels a lot better We also added some "Madeon" kinda thiny and a slow part at the end, but frankly just a little bit for fun. Gotten quite frustrating now though, as my laptop finds this project hard to handle, so I think i'll be investing in a stationary computer soon

Here's the update
http://soundcloud.com/attehdisco/working-project-2

[bobbyd]

Sounds very good. Great job cleaning it up.