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View Full Version : Do you play music that the wed. couple wants or music that makes people dance?



I love music
03-01-2012, 12:36 AM
Sometimes couples want only "their" music to be played in their wedding. In a way thats understandable.

But if the music sucks or isnt "dancable". What do you do then?
Do you take matters in your own hands so the party doesnt flunk or do you keep within the playlist?

I ve had weddings where i took charge of the music and saved the wedding from sucking, but the couple at the end of the night didnt like it.

And i ve had weddings where i kept within the couples guidelines and the guests were furious on me, thinking that it was my idea to play hard core country from 11pm till 4am in the morning.... :rolleyes: Literally i had one guy who wanted to start a fight with me cause he thought that it was my idea to play 5 hrs of country and NOTHING else inbetween.

The thing is, if you stay within the playlist the couple is happy. But then your dj-service looks bad to the rest of the 200 guests, cause the think you suck as a dj. If someone asks them "so how was so and so entertainment"? They ll be like "they suck...no one was dancing". So then u look bad.

Whats the smart thing to do?

djkvg
03-01-2012, 03:02 AM
communicate with the bride and groom and send them your honest opinion

Dix
03-01-2012, 06:09 AM
I allow 15 must play songs. After that, the client can give me as many songs as they please however, the songs may or may not get played. Of course I will play all that I can but I will decide if & when to play those extra songs.

DJ Donnie Lewis
03-01-2012, 07:04 AM
I allow 15 must play songs. After that, the client can give me as many songs as they please however, the songs may or may not get played. Of course I will play all that I can but I will decide if & when to play those extra songs.

Same here. We also discuss the importance of guest involvement with their must play list

jazzyj
03-01-2012, 07:48 AM
I let the couple choose as much or as little of the playlist as they want. I tell them approximately how many songs we can fit into their time frame given events and average song length.

But we also have a conversation about dancing and what works well and what won't. For the most part so far, the B&G have always taken their guests into consideration. I haven't had one yet that demanded we play these set songs and only these songs regardless of the guests. I did have one Bride that did not want one single line dance played at her reception, but after about 7 requests from guests, I had the chance to go by the Bride and let her know and she was like go for it - she just had no idea that any of her friends would like that stuff. All was well.

....incidentally, at that same reception, the Groom continuously asked me to play Sweet Dreams by Beyonce, which is a mid-tempo song that would absolutely kill the dance floor. After about his 4th request (I had been putting it off as long as possible), I finally crumbled, and to my astonishment - apparently this song has some history with him and this weird dance he does because he loves Beyonce so much. Cleared the dance floor, but all were gathered round to watch his beyonce mating dance lol.

Stirred
03-01-2012, 08:13 AM
Whats the smart thing to do?

Tell the selfish broad that her wedding reception is also for her guests!!!

lol... I actually had the mother of a bride (who cut me the check) constantly ask me to play the "Godfather" theme... luckily the bride was on my side and bailed me out!

jazzyj
03-01-2012, 08:40 AM
Tell the selfish broad that her wedding reception is also for her guests!!!


Correction: the wedding & reception are alllll about the bride!

pumpitdj
03-01-2012, 09:22 AM
If the Bride & Groom want me to go by there playlist , I will go out to the middle of the floor and introduce myself and then let everyone know the B&G have put together a playlist for tonight , and I will not be taking any request . This way I do not look like the bad guy . But I will ask the B&G before hand if your music is not working do you mind if I throw in a few other songs , most times they will say go ahead

Sween
03-01-2012, 09:42 AM
Little of both...

You need to find a way to keep them all happy... if at all possible.

I have one coming up in Sept where the B&G want to select ALL the music... I did not want the job frankly. But the parents loved me at the meeting and I was more willing to work with them than the previous DJ they interviewed. I am nervous about it. I handed them a print out of the 200 DJ Intelligence list and left it with them and said PLLLEEASE try to find some crowd pleasers in here that you actually like. I will meet with them again in July or August... I will try to set up some rules with them. I WILL play what you want... BUT when it doesn't work, what I am allowed to do... (these people like Punk music... which I hate almost as much as Country)

RodneyL
03-01-2012, 10:37 AM
Little of both...

You need to find a way to keep them all happy... if at all possible.

I have one coming up in Sept where the B&G want to select ALL the music... I did not want the job frankly. But the parents loved me at the meeting and I was more willing to work with them than the previous DJ they interviewed. I am nervous about it. I handed them a print out of the 200 DJ Intelligence list and left it with them and said PLLLEEASE try to find some crowd pleasers in here that you actually like. I will meet with them again in July or August... I will try to set up some rules with them. I WILL play what you want... BUT when it doesn't work, what I am allowed to do... (these people like Punk music... which I hate almost as much as Country)

I agree with Sween. Try to find a compromise. I had a bride give me a list of 30 or 40 songs she wanted to hear recently. I only had half of them because they were very "out there". I got all the songs and played a few, but mixed in some newer more popular stuff. Everyone, including the bride, was up and dancing to the stuff I threw out there.

Respect the wishes of the person who hired you, but don't be scared to try some different things and see how it goes.

btw, great being back on DJF after such a long down time.

DJStevieRay
03-01-2012, 10:48 AM
I am up front with my clients BEFORE they book with me. They hire me for my 20 years of experience, and of course I will play their requests, but they are hiring me to make sure each and every guest leaves going WOW that was one hell of a party. If they want a jukebox to only play their music. I will gladly refer them to one of the hundreds of DJ's in our area, who will make it happen, at less then 1/2 what I charge.

In this day and age of social media, word spreads quickly about how shitty the DJ was at the Wedding they just attended. The guests will not post on facebook, that the DJ played exactly what the client wanted, they will only post how miserable they were. I do not risk my reputation on such gigs. I do work with my clients on music they would like, but on our initial consultation, if I feel I do not provide what they want, I will gladly refer them to someone else. Most clients appreciate that honesty. We are both happier in the long run.

DJMC
03-01-2012, 11:15 AM
Clause in my contract:

"ALL REQUESTS MUST EITHER BE A MAJOR HIT SONG -OR- SOMETHING ALL YOUR GUESTS WILL DANCE TO"

This ensures two things: 1) all my music is from RPM, Top Hits USA, so anything on that CD service is a Major Hit Song -- AND -- (2) if they pick a song that is NOT a hit song, it must be danceable.

That way, if I am stuck paying $$$ for a CD, it will be something that packs the floor!

And, if the Bride & Groom want crappy tunes played-- they have to BYOCD! (bring your own CD)

Sween
03-01-2012, 11:19 AM
Clause in my contract:

"ALL REQUESTS MUST EITHER BE A MAJOR HIT SONG -OR- SOMETHING ALL YOUR GUESTS WILL DANCE TO"

This ensures two things: 1) all my music is from RPM, Top Hits USA, so anything on that CD service is a Major Hit Song -- AND -- (2) if they pick a song that is NOT a hit song, it must be danceable.

That way, if I am stuck paying $$$ for a CD, it will be something that packs the floor!

And, if the Bride & Groom want crappy tunes played-- they have to BYOCD! (bring your own CD)

Really? I probably wouldn't hire you then. I mean, I understand WHY you do that... but it seems inflexible to me. There is a lot of great dance music that is not a "hit".

jazzyj
03-01-2012, 11:21 AM
Clause in my contract:

"ALL REQUESTS MUST EITHER BE A MAJOR HIT SONG -OR- SOMETHING ALL YOUR GUESTS WILL DANCE TO"

This ensures two things: 1) all my music is from RPM, Top Hits USA, so anything on that CD service is a Major Hit Song -- AND -- (2) if they pick a song that is NOT a hit song, it must be danceable.

That way, if I am stuck paying $$$ for a CD, it will be something that packs the floor!

And, if the Bride & Groom want crappy tunes played-- they have to BYOCD! (bring your own CD)

Oh wow, really? "Danceable" is a really subjective term to put in a contract.. but if it works for you - go ahead.

I sell myself on customer service, so I go out of my way to make the client happy and put as few constraints on them as possible.

DJMC
03-01-2012, 11:29 AM
In my world -- there are so many EASY couples who want "Fun Dance Music" -- I can easily pass on those Bridezilla's who are way too picky for their own good.....

Its called SEO -- once you have Top-Of-Google placement-- more options are going to come your way -- allowing you to be in a Seller's Market.

DJMC
03-01-2012, 11:31 AM
There is a lot of great dance music that is not a "hit".

you didn't read correctly --

the -OR- part where it says "OR SOMETHING THAT ALL YOUR GUESTS WILL DANCE TO"

this covers all songs that did not make the Top 100 BB Chart, yet they are floor packers.

I can't think of any off the top of my head......but if the song is DANCEABLE -- I will gladly play it for my client.

jazzyj
03-01-2012, 11:42 AM
i had an indian/irish wedding... played mostly bhangra, irish, and dubstep per their request. not a bridezilla at all - we're actually friends now. dance floor was packed whole time. they just wanted to celebrate their heritage.

DJMC
03-01-2012, 03:41 PM
Now -- don't get me wrong -- there is lots of stuff (ceremony music, background music, cocktail hour jazz, etc) that doesn't have to be Top 40 or danceable.

I remember (early 2002) when a particular "Groomzilla" brought 2 CD's of Jack Johnson to his reception and made me play certain tracks as dinner music (in addition to all the other music I had on CD's myself) -- the tunes were so great, I went out and bought ALL of Jack Johnson's CD's and now play them for other customers, also as dinner music....

Brom
03-01-2012, 05:01 PM
I had one last summer where they gave me a huge playlist but everything was music that I'd play anyway and I had the dancefloor packed for three straight hours. Then there was another last fall where they had all these really oddball must plays (Kenny Rogers, Paul Simon, etc.) and I figured I'd save them for the last half hour or so when the crowd was dwindling. I was blown away when every single oddball song blew up the dancefloor and the venue had to shut me down at the end because the crowd wanted to stick around and keep dancing.

Even though it's a song you might not know or like you never know the backstory the B&G have with their friends. But I always cue up a hit song to cut into just in case it bombs.

jazzyj
03-01-2012, 05:31 PM
i actually ended buying the whole cd of indian/irish - Delhi2Dublin. loved it!

Jonno Soccio
03-01-2012, 06:53 PM
Yeah, I kind of understand but that is still a pretty weird thing to write in a contract...

Jonno Soccio
03-01-2012, 06:57 PM
Really? I probably wouldn't hire you then. I mean, I understand WHY you do that... but it seems inflexible to me. There is a lot of great dance music that is not a "hit".

Yeah, I kind of get it but still a pretty weird thing to write in a contract...

DJMattiB
03-06-2012, 10:50 PM
I had a wedding a few years ago where the B&G told me just after i started playing that they wanted me to play anything that there friend from the city brought up to me. Now you have to understand that I am in a town that is about 5 to 15 years behind everywhere else in the country it seems. So this guy kept bringing up all this house and hip-hop that HE wanted but the floor was empty the whole night...

I even kept checking with the B&G and they said just keep playing what he brings. Well about an 45min before it ended and a few people were cuffed when the cops showed up he left and I started playing what needed to be played and the floor was packed.

So ever since then I do what alot of you do and talk with the client and let them know I am more than willing to take requests and will try and work there songs in, but reserve the right to play what the guests are feeling!

DJ MattiB

Sween
03-07-2012, 08:48 AM
a few people were cuffed when the cops showed up

About to siderail this thread, while you tell me WHY the cops showed up and cuffed a few people...

(It seems to be nonchalantly stated as if this sort of thing randomly happens to you often)

jazzyj
03-07-2012, 08:52 AM
I'm glad you asking Sween cuz i read that this morning and was all Judge Judy like ... how you just gon roll that in and not esplain that ese?

DJMikeD.
03-23-2012, 12:40 AM
I've got a wedding next month and have already met with the B&G. They are only 21 years old and the bride gave me a list of do's and don'ts. The do's are nothing but new top 40 songs and a few meaningful slow ones which is no problem. But the don't play list is line dance songs, which is ok with me. But she puts no 80's and 90's music. So she blocks me from two entire decades of some good music!! I told here that the age range is wide at a wedding, but I will try to work with her requests. This should be interesting to say the least!!!

Dave Daschofsky
03-23-2012, 02:48 AM
I am up front with my clients BEFORE they book with me. They hire me for my 20 years of experience, and of course I will play their requests, but they are hiring me to make sure each and every guest leaves going WOW that was one hell of a party. If they want a jukebox to only play their music. I will gladly refer them to one of the hundreds of DJ's in our area, who will make it happen, at less then 1/2 what I charge.

In this day and age of social media, word spreads quickly about how shitty the DJ was at the Wedding they just attended. The guests will not post on facebook, that the DJ played exactly what the client wanted, they will only post how miserable they were. I do not risk my reputation on such gigs. I do work with my clients on music they would like, but on our initial consultation, if I feel I do not provide what they want, I will gladly refer them to someone else. Most clients appreciate that honesty. We are both happier in the long run.

That's pretty much what I do. I like to have things like that hammered out before booking. If the bride and groom insist on four hours of crappy music I'm more than happy to rent them a sound system to hook their ipod up to since they don't need a DJ.

Dave Daschofsky
03-23-2012, 02:49 AM
I've got a wedding next month and have already met with the B&G. They are only 21 years old and the bride gave me a list of do's and don'ts. The do's are nothing but new top 40 songs and a few meaningful slow ones which is no problem. But the don't play list is line dance songs, which is ok with me. But she puts no 80's and 90's music. So she blocks me from two entire decades of some good music!! I told here that the age range is wide at a wedding, but I will try to work with her requests. This should be interesting to say the least!!!

Just play some new covers of 80's and 90's songs :)

DJRockinRob
03-23-2012, 12:25 PM
It's a funny story. I have a completely different problem from yours. I have the issue of playing the music that I want to hear and not playing to the crowd or get off track from the bride and grooms requests. I've been working on it and I seem to be getting better at it.


God Bless me and God Bless all of you!

Sween
03-23-2012, 12:27 PM
And God bless us all, every one!

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRwbVrtR2zsW_JSA-zIGaRlyBYMq8eI4RaDsJTw4PY8n8Wbwht3eguG1VpxCQ

DJRockinRob
03-23-2012, 12:29 PM
and god bless us all, every one!

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:and9gcrwbvrtr2zsw_jsa-zigarlybymq8ei4radsjtw4py8n8wbwht3egug1vpxcq


god bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fat8ack
03-30-2012, 10:33 AM
i had an indian/irish wedding... played mostly bhangra, irish, and dubstep per their request. not a bridezilla at all - we're actually friends now. dance floor was packed whole time. they just wanted to celebrate their heritage.

That is a VERY interesting combo of music there.......

bumpyjonas
03-30-2012, 10:13 PM
I play a combination of the playlist from the B&G, mixed with similiar songs not on their list then your typical wedding songs which are crowd pleasers.