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View Full Version : Being Straight and DJing at a gay bar?



fat8ack
02-17-2012, 11:15 AM
So...There is a gay bar a few blocks from my house that is looking for a DJ. Thing is, I am 100% straight and not really into the whole gay scene but I would really like to start playing out. I do not judge, just not really my thing, I am sure you all will understand. I am sure if I pursue this gig and get it I will being seeing some things that will be very shocking to me:eek:. I have noticed over my life time of going out to clubs and raves and what not that the gay male community is very into EDM/Dance music, and I would be more than happy to get paid to help a bunch of gay/lesbian folks dance all night as I love to spin house/electro.


My question is, has anyone else been in this type of environment as a straight DJ in a gay night club. I don't have anything against the homosexual community, I am just not a big fan of seeing things they do, short of any mans lesbian fantasy. I don't know how I would feel if I was hit on by another man but I mean it is a gay bar/club so I would have to wear a sign around my neck saying "I am straight".

Really any and all advice on this would be a big help as I am going talk to the manager, maybe, in a few days.:D

Thanks Boys!

DJArmani
02-17-2012, 11:21 AM
just stay in the dj booth the whole time with a deadmau5 mask so they don't see your face and think your cute :lol:

Hausgeist
02-17-2012, 11:47 AM
Grab their loaves and taunt them without actually following through with any sex. Apparently gay guys enjoy being teased in this fashion. Maybe there's a thread about that somewhere.

Edit: Seriously, whatever. It's a gig. Even by posting this, you seem sheltered as hell. Being around people who are different from yourself will do you some good.

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 11:55 AM
Grab their loaves and taunt them without actually following through with any sex. Apparently gay guys enjoy being teased in this fashion. Maybe there's a thread about that somewhere.

Edit: Seriously, whatever. It's a gig. You seem sheltered as hell. Being around people who are different from yourself will do you some good.

This is not a troll man I am being for real. And yeah on the edit, I kinda feel the same way about diff people. Shit man it could be a blast. Just a little anxious that's all.

blackfoxbb
02-17-2012, 12:02 PM
don't mix things up. you're there to work, not to have fun.

Sween
02-17-2012, 12:03 PM
Just be sure to suck his balls if you like to flirt.

Seriously though. Try it out. What's the worst that can happen? You leave cause you don't like it... or they fire you?

BUT, be prepared to be flirted with (unless you're ugly). And you need to be 100% comfortable with it.

CQE DJs
02-17-2012, 12:08 PM
I would give it a shot. A gig is a gig. You never know, it might end up being a great gig where you can play good music with a good vibe. I say go for it.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 12:09 PM
Having been a whore of the gay bars over the last few decades (aye, at least I'm honest?)... you will be fine.

Many MANY DJ's at our gay establishments are hetrosexual. Also, many of the bartenders are straight too. Hell even a bunch of the strippers are straight.

But yeah, guys will flirt with you - but that happens everywhere to chicks - straight guys just are the new target and y'all don't have a lot of experience with this yet.

My favorite bartender of all time at a gay club was a straight guy named Joe. He was so easy goin (real easy on the eyes too) but he was married with wife n kids, but so very cool. I would talk to him all the time (and i got my share of free drinks :) ). Come to find out he's a dj too. A good DJ at that. Went to see him play a few times at other bars and we're still friends today even though that bar is long gone. I'm currently trying to hook him up with some cute chick cuz he got a divorce last year. :( But he'll be fine :)

Sween
02-17-2012, 12:10 PM
I DJ gay weddings all the time. They're some of my most successful events. Play lots of DISCO.

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 12:11 PM
nevermind my badI got some rep for yall!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 12:13 PM
Having been a whore of the gay bars over the last few decades (aye, at least I'm honest?)... you will be fine.

Many MANY DJ's at our gay establishments are hetrosexual. Also, many of the bartenders are straight too. Hell even a bunch of the strippers are straight.

But yeah, guys will flirt with you - but that happens everywhere to chicks - straight guys just are the new target and y'all don't have a lot of experience with this yet.

My favorite bartender of all time at a gay club was a straight guy named Joe. He was so easy goin (real easy on the eyes too) but he was married with wife n kids, but so very cool. I would talk to him all the time (and i got my share of free drinks :) ). Come to find out he's a dj too. A good DJ at that. Went to see him play a few times at other bars and we're still friends today even though that bar is long gone. I'm currently trying to hook him up with some cute chick cuz he got a divorce last year. :( But he'll be fine :)

Awesome man thank you!!!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 12:14 PM
Just be sure to suck his balls if you like to flirt.

Seriously though. Try it out. What's the worst that can happen? You leave cause you don't like it... or they fire you?

BUT, be prepared to be flirted with (unless you're ugly). And you need to be 100% comfortable with it.

I am pretty ugly man.....haha.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 12:15 PM
ooo you're in Jacksonville!! What club? I been to some of their gay clubs down there and they were great!!!

and to top it off, you'll get tons of exposure - if you do right by the drag queens there (if they have shows) they will spread your name all over the whole state of florida at competitions they go to!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 12:21 PM
ooo you're in Jacksonville!! What club? I been to some of their gay clubs down there and they were great!!!

and to top it off, you'll get tons of exposure - if you do right by the drag queens there (if they have shows) they will spread your name all over the whole state of florida at competitions they go to!

Bo's Coral Reef in Jax Beach. It is like 10 blocks from my house. Great advise too man I owe you some more rep! How would you DJ a drag show? I went to one, like, 13 years ago in Gainesville. I figure 10-2am play a bunch of house/electro roof bangers (with a pee break likely), is this what you like to hear when you go out dancing. What music would you usually hear at a gay club/bar?

c-hawk
02-17-2012, 12:26 PM
It's a gig that could lead to more gigs; wouldn't imagine anyone making you do something against your will in the club.......you'd have to want it!;)

Ocie
02-17-2012, 12:28 PM
play the show, get paid. just don't get laid.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 12:30 PM
Bo's Coral Reef in Jax Beach. It is like 10 blocks from my house. Great advise too man I owe you some more rep! How would you DJ a drag show? I went to one, like, 13 years ago in Gainesville. I figure 10-2am play a bunch of house/electro roof bangers (with a pee break likely), is this what you like to hear when you go out dancing. What music would you usually hear at a gay club/bar?

Hmmm Nah I didn't go to that one. I think I was at 616 and the Metro. I just looked at Bo's site - they do have drag shows Thur-Sun. The queens will give you their music - and they usually work on "drag time" which means they go on when they get damn good n ready lol so if the show starts at 10, welll it probably won't til at least 10:15. And hopefully they won't give you some scratched up cd that has been thru hell n back for their song. Just make sure if they say play track 12, you play track 12. If you mess up their song, they will trip lol

I don't see any "live" pics of people dancing or anything so hard to tell what kind of music they listen to - I bet it's more of a top 40 club but you could probably do lots of house/techno remixes of the pop songs. You'll have to go with whatever the manager/owner wants unless you can persuade her/him to do something different - and I encourage you to do so cuz managers don't always know their patrons.

I'm trying to talk one of our gay clubs into letting me come down on Thursday nights and do a R&B night cuz nobody does it anymore. I am an R&B person so EDM is not really my style - but that's what they usually play at most gay clubs round the world. House, Dubstep is slowly making its way to KY - altho one dj i asked if he played any in kentucky told me he didnt know what dubstep was.... i almost fainted.

You'll do fine man - go get that $$ and play those tunes :)

Mahatma Coat
02-17-2012, 12:44 PM
OP, I just played a gay bar/club last Sunday - It was immense.

I've played there a couple of times now, but basically everyone is super sound and is just down to have a good time. Obviously, just like hetero bars, all gay bars are different so when it comes to tunes and stuff you can't go in with too many expectations as to what to play... Just do your thing and read the crowd.

I played a set of really underground house, but funky shit and they loved it. As the night went on I slipped in some techno and some bass music, these guys went wild! By the end of the night I was playing Prince's 'when doves cry' and mashing it into bass music; 'music sounds better with you' and seguing that into techno. All sorts of crazy.

Basically, I played my kind of tunes, which went down really well, but added a few 'gay anthems' just to let them know that I knew it was a gay bar and I was happy to play 'their music' too, but my style. I think they really appreciated that.

Yeah, you get flirted with and chatted up a bit, but so what - Its a compliment, right?

Pus there's hot girls every where, often getting it on with each other. I was in heaven most of the time.

The only thing I would say is you have to remember that its their scene, their bar, their space. They're not really there for you as a DJ, you're just supposed to ensure everyone has good music to listen and dance to. So I would suggest a hetero guy trying to do Jesus poses and get everyone to appreciate him won't go down too well... If you ever thought you could behave like that, (not saying you necessarily would of course).

Basically just have a fucking good time man, these people know how to party and they get the fuck down!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 12:54 PM
OP, I just played a gay bar/club last Sunday - It was immense.

I've played there a couple of times now, but basically everyone is super sound and is just down to have a good time. Obviously, just like hetero bars, all gay bars are different so when it comes to tunes and stuff you can't go in with too many expectations as to what to play... Just do your thing and read the crowd.

I played a set of really underground house, but funky shit and they loved it. As the night went on I slipped in some techno and some bass music, these guys went wild! By the end of the night I was playing Prince's 'when doves cry' and mashing it into bass music; 'music sounds better with you' and seguing that into techno. All sorts of crazy.

Basically, I played my kind of tunes, which went down really well, but added a few 'gay anthems' just to let them know that I knew it was a gay bar and I was happy to play 'their music' too, but my style. I think they really appreciated that.

Yeah, you get flirted with and chatted up a bit, but so what - Its a compliment, right?

Pus there's hot girls every where, often getting it on with each other. I was in heaven most of the time.

The only thing I would say is you have to remember that its their scene, their bar, their space. They're not really there for you as a DJ, you're just supposed to ensure everyone has good music to listen and dance to. So I would suggest a hetero guy trying to do Jesus poses and get everyone to appreciate him won't go down too well... If you ever thought you could behave like that, (not saying you necessarily would of course).

Basically just have a fucking good time man, these people know how to party and they get the fuck down!

This is excellent advise, Thank you sir, +rep for you!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 01:05 PM
Hmmm Nah I didn't go to that one. I think I was at 616 and the Metro. I just looked at Bo's site - they do have drag shows Thur-Sun. The queens will give you their music - and they usually work on "drag time" which means they go on when they get damn good n ready lol so if the show starts at 10, welll it probably won't til at least 10:15. And hopefully they won't give you some scratched up cd that has been thru hell n back for their song. Just make sure if they say play track 12, you play track 12. If you mess up their song, they will trip lol

I don't see any "live" pics of people dancing or anything so hard to tell what kind of music they listen to - I bet it's more of a top 40 club but you could probably do lots of house/techno remixes of the pop songs. You'll have to go with whatever the manager/owner wants unless you can persuade her/him to do something different - and I encourage you to do so cuz managers don't always know their patrons.

I'm trying to talk one of our gay clubs into letting me come down on Thursday nights and do a R&B night cuz nobody does it anymore. I am an R&B person so EDM is not really my style - but that's what they usually play at most gay clubs round the world. House, Dubstep is slowly making its way to KY - altho one dj i asked if he played any in kentucky told me he didnt know what dubstep was.... i almost fainted.

You'll do fine man - go get that $$ and play those tunes :)

Thank you so much for the advise!

Marc S
02-17-2012, 01:09 PM
do it, makes no difference. just dont assume because they are gay that you need to play YMCA and kylie Minogue all night, treat it like any other gig.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 01:10 PM
do it, makes no difference.

However... if you do look like Marc... I may have to advise against it. You may get more physical attention than you want. :) :P lol

DJWhoQE
02-17-2012, 01:37 PM
It's like any other gig, only with a different demographic than you're used to. If anything, it'll probably be much more fun than you expect.

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 01:40 PM
It's like any other gig, only with a different demographic than you're used to. If anything, it'll probably be much more fun than you expect.

That is really what I am guessing. From what I have heard the gay community really knows how to party.

DJWhoQE
02-17-2012, 01:41 PM
That is really what I am guessing. From what I have heard the gay community really knows how to party.
I've played a couple parties for my gay friends and I can say this with 100% certainty: they do.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 01:42 PM
Yeah you got that shit right... hell my husband n I been tryin to act like we 21 again... been clubbin on the weekends here lately, staying out til 6am... my body been hurtin! But i have gotten a few gig leads from it - now if i can remember who they were lol too much bourbon :)

DJMC
02-17-2012, 01:46 PM
And NEVER ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 01:49 PM
And NEVER ask: "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

well...unless... lol nevermind :)

bernardgregory
02-17-2012, 02:40 PM
I've been in gay clubs with an ex-gf and her gay friend. I'm not judgmental at all so it didn't bother me.

I would take the gig, because that type of crowd really enjoys the music, compared to some crowds that are too cool to party

uncut69
02-17-2012, 03:33 PM
Like everyone has already said, its just another gig and would definitely be fun anyway. But, sadly one of the great perks of being a dj is eliminated. Of course, a lot of girls go out with their gay friends so you never know

bernardgregory
02-17-2012, 03:48 PM
Like everyone has already said, its just another gig and would definitely be fun anyway. But, sadly one of the great perks of being a dj is eliminated. Of course, a lot of girls go out with their gay friends so you never know

yahtzee! and it eliminates any competition

bernardgregory
02-17-2012, 03:48 PM
do it, makes no difference. just dont assume because they are gay that you need to play YMCA and kylie Minogue all night, treat it like any other gig.

ive found that gay bars LOVE hiphop.... i think its cause typical spots play all techno house

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 03:49 PM
ive found that gay bars LOVE hiphop.... i think its cause typical spots play all techno house

YES. I do Bernard.. i hate it cuz KY has NO gay R&B/hiphop clubs. When i went to Atlanta tho - omg so many gay rnb/hiphop clubs i was in heaven. i miss it.

Sean
02-17-2012, 03:52 PM
Play it and have a lot of fun. Gay bars have an amazing vibe, and I do say that as a straight guy.

djshire
02-17-2012, 04:36 PM
ewrHj_RRk0Y

DjZzeless
02-17-2012, 04:55 PM
I have held residencies at several gay clubs here in vegas, Im straight.........they pay well, kinda get to play your own style, but they're a tough crowd, if you can play there, you can play anywhere.
You might get an occasional hit, but gay people know if you're not gay! Oh, free drinks too! Go for it man, worth the experience!

NickJames
02-17-2012, 06:17 PM
I don't know how I would feel if I was hit on by another man but I mean it is a gay bar/club so I would have to wear a sign around my neck saying "I am straight".

First, I really hope that was a joke and you're not one of those guys who think that gay men like anyone with a penis. If you're one of those guys who feels the need to announce the fact your straight even before you've been hit on don't take the gig. Gay people do not appreciate that attitude. Gay men just like straight men have types and not every gay man is going to be interested in you just because you're a guy.

Now, assuming it was a joke and you are actually interested in the gig: I have been playing gay clubs for years (I am also gay myself) and the vast majority of DJs in gay clubs are in fact straight. A portion of the clientèle will be straight as well as many people like the "novelty" of partying with gay guys. One of the best places for straight guys to pick up women is at a gay bar because there tend to be huge groups of straight women and lots of straight women who are there with their gay friends who will get ditched at the end of the night for a hookup.

I wouldn't say that all gay clubs are devoted to EDM/House but the vast majority are and they tend to be on the cutting edge of music. By the time the radio is announcing some song as the "hot new track" it has already been played to death at the gay clubs here and I often get requests for songs that have been released within the last 48 hours so I have to constantly stay on top of releases. (Even if you don't take requests it will be necessary to stay ahead of the game).

My simplified advice:
- Take the gig and try it out.
- Check your fears at the door.
- If you get hit on simply say "sorry I am not interested" or "thanks, but I am straight". If you feel the need to go into more detail than that you're being an ass, people won't push it, acting like you're expecting them too is offensive. (That said, if someone does push it - flag a bouncer over. I might be gay but I am in a committed relationship so even I do not appreciate people trying super hard to hit on me)
- If someone offers you a drink it does not necessarily mean they're hitting on you.
- Don't be a dick, it's a gay bar and if you make the gay people uncomfortable by being an uptight straight guy you will be out on your ass. You're the outsider.
- It's most likely the be the staff that will bug you. Straight guys are a novelty in gay clubs and the staff sometimes play it up. You're the unattainable guy and they will use it as marketing.

If you can leave your fears at the door it will be the most rewarding gig of your career. Not only are gay bars amazing venues but they're also often interconnected; The owner of the club I play at has hooked me up with gigs at other bars in other provinces before and that's pretty common.

The only real difference is the gender of the people dancing:
http://www.nickjames.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/one1.jpg

manoaboi
02-17-2012, 06:18 PM
We would fight if you said this to me in person. Let me know if you are ever in Jacksonville FL we can can talk about this biggotry in person , guy.

He ain't your guy, pal!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 06:26 PM
First, I really hope that was a joke and you're not one of those guys who think that gay men like anyone with a penis. If you're one of those guys who feels the need to announce the fact your straight even before you've been hit on don't take the gig. Gay people do not appreciate that attitude. Gay men just like straight men have types and not every gay man is going to be interested in you just because you're a guy.

Now, assuming it was a joke and you are actually interested in the gig: I have been playing gay clubs for years (I am also gay myself) and the vast majority of DJs in gay clubs are in fact straight. A portion of the clientèle will be straight as well as many people like the "novelty" of partying with gay guys. One of the best places for straight guys to pick up women is at a gay bar because there tend to be huge groups of straight women and lots of straight women who are there with their gay friends who will get ditched at the end of the night for a hookup.

I wouldn't say that all gay clubs are devoted to EDM/House but the vast majority are and they tend to be on the cutting edge of music. By the time the radio is announcing some song as the "hot new track" it has already been played to death at the gay clubs here and I often get requests for songs that have been released within the last 48 hours so I have to constantly stay on top of releases. (Even if you don't take requests it will be necessary to stay ahead of the game).

My simplified advice:
- Take the gig and try it out.
- Check your fears at the door.
- If you get hit on simply say "sorry I am not interested" or "thanks, but I am straight". If you feel the need to go into more detail than that you're being an ass, people won't push it, acting like you're expecting them too is offensive. (That said, if someone does push it - flag a bouncer over. I might be gay but I am in a committed relationship so even I do not appreciate people trying super hard to hit on me)
- If someone offers you a drink it does not necessarily mean they're hitting on you.
- Don't be a dick, it's a gay bar and if you make the gay people uncomfortable by being an uptight straight guy you will be out on your ass. You're the outsider.
- It's most likely the be the staff that will bug you. Straight guys are a novelty in gay clubs and the staff sometimes play it up. You're the unattainable guy and they will use it as marketing.

If you can leave your fears at the door it will be the most rewarding gig of your career. Not only are gay bars amazing venues but they're also often interconnected; The owner of the club I play at has hooked me up with gigs at other bars in other provinces before and that's pretty common.

The only real difference is the gender of the people dancing:
http://www.nickjames.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/one1.jpg

Excellent advice my friend. I really think I am going to give this a try. Sounds fun and maybe I need it!

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 06:27 PM
He ain't your guy, pal!


I know right.

BuddyUK
02-17-2012, 06:47 PM
but the vast majority are and they tend to be on the cutting edge of music.

fucking Freemasons brah :mad:

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 07:52 PM
Here Ye! Here Ye!

Now... fat8ack had posted what I thought was a geniune question and was not being homophobic or rude in any way. Earlier today, he got a lot of great advice from the homos n heteros alike. But I check back later tonight, and this thread has totally gone ridic (as you youngins say).

So, having just come from the Ruby Red Ball where I spoke with the High Heel Council which oversees the entire Gay Agenda, they have made a proclamation...

They have ruled that fat8back is a gay-friendly person and DJ who just had some genuine questions. From this day forward, may it be known across the Rainbow Land that he is welcome in our communities.

And so it is written.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 07:54 PM
...yes. The preceding post was brought to you by Crane Lake Moscato and Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack blasting through 2 15" Yorkville Subs that I just rented for an event this week.

ampnation
02-17-2012, 08:12 PM
Yeah - it might be uncomfortable at first but as long as you're honest and respectful, and don't freak out if you're hit on, you should be fine. I've been hit on because I speak out for equal treatment. I guess people don't spend a lot of time advocating for a cause unless they're directly affected. That's a shame. Most gays I know though have pretty good gaydar so they don't bother with me.

fat8ack
02-17-2012, 08:52 PM
Here Ye! Here Ye!

Now... fat8ack had posted what I thought was a geniune question and was not being homophobic or rude in any way. Earlier today, he got a lot of great advice from the homos n heteros alike. But I check back later tonight, and this thread has totally gone ridic (as you youngins say).

So, having just come from the Ruby Red Ball where I spoke with the High Heel Council which oversees the entire Gay Agenda, they have made a proclamation...

They have ruled that fat8back is a gay-friendly person and DJ who just had some genuine questions. From this day forward, may it be known across the Rainbow Land that he is welcome in our communities.

And so it is written.

Big love right back at you brother!!!!:)

Sol
02-17-2012, 08:54 PM
Here Ye! Here Ye!

Now... fat8ack had posted what I thought was a geniune question and was not being homophobic or rude in any way. Earlier today, he got a lot of great advice from the homos n heteros alike. But I check back later tonight, and this thread has totally gone ridic (as you youngins say).

So, having just come from the Ruby Red Ball where I spoke with the High Heel Council which oversees the entire Gay Agenda, they have made a proclamation...

They have ruled that fat8back is a gay-friendly person and DJ who just had some genuine questions. From this day forward, may it be known across the Rainbow Land that he is welcome in our communities.

And so it is written.

:stupid:

I deleted the crazyness -

Now lets get back to our regular scheduled programing.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 08:58 PM
:stupid:

I deleted the crazyness -

Now lets get back to our regular scheduled programing.

lol deal. Back to the wine. :)

moyo wilde
02-17-2012, 09:16 PM
great advice nickjames, reading through i was going to say he should be prepared for aggressive pickups. not saying gays are aggressive but guys (and girls) hetero and homo can be aggressive with a few drinks, so just in case be prepared for how you will react to being felt up etc.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 09:41 PM
we only drunk aggressive if you look like LL Cool J; then it's on! lol

Ignotus
02-17-2012, 09:46 PM
i enjoy it man, hell if they wanna buy me a few drinks, by all means, but they know im straight by now

moyo wilde
02-17-2012, 09:51 PM
i don't look like LL, but i have been felt up on a dance floor by guys and girls, maybe with beer goggles i look like LL. most times if it is somebody you can see and you don't appreciate it a very stern serious look or a wtf look will do.

had a female friend a guy got a little too frisky dancing with her, she turned around and patted him on the head, like silly little boy. it was hilarious and he went away pretty quick. first time i ever saw that done, but very efficient.

jazzyj
02-17-2012, 09:54 PM
i don't look like LL, but i have been felt up on a dance floor by guys and girls, maybe with beer goggles i look like LL. most times if it is somebody you can see and you don't appreciate it a very stern serious look or a wtf look will do.

had a female friend a guy got a little too frisky dancing with her, she turned around and patted him on the head, like silly little boy. it was hilarious and he went away pretty quick. first time i ever saw that done, but very efficient.

lol that wulda been funny :) ill have to remember that one :) aww n u must be cute!

KLH
02-17-2012, 10:19 PM
Get your mind straight. You're a professional hired for a result- playing great music with style. If you're worried about the crowd who paid to listen to you, maybe this job is not for you.

Not everyone can or should be a DJ.

-KLH